He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
