shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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