one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
