see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
