even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
