Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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