see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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