and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
