Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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