She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
