You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
