I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
