drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
