Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
