...so i touched it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
