I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
