I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
