I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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