i may or may not be watching the land before time
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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