Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
