We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
