you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
