I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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