He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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