the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
