The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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