Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Vodka?
Forever.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
