Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
