How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
