Already got asked if we're dating
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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