My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
