Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
