so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
