i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
