what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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