I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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