the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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