Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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