its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
