I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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