I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
