Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
