Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
