If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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