We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
