I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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