But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
