Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
honey bunches of taint.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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