Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
