i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
