well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
