I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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